Day 13: Allie

Bashkim

I think talking about yourself and being able to show who you really are always makes you feel better when you're done.  Often I'll drive myself crazy thinking about it but once it's over and done I feel relieved.  Even if I was saying something that wasn't the best, just getting it off my chest always helps me and usually helps the situation I'm in.  I always think it's best to be honest and to not keep things bottled up because when you keep things all inside you'll eventually explode and that can do more harm then help.  When you let situations sit for too long and you wait, you could be hurting the situation more and hurting yourself and others too.  In True Notebooks, I think the writing class is the best thing for the boys.  I think they already have so much bottled up anger and so many issues that when you put that with them being confined to a jail cell, it only makes the situation worse.  They end up taking out their anger on each other, or do stupid things like drugs to try and "relieve" themselves from everything that they've bottled up.  By writing, they can take out some of that bottled up energy in a positive way and say everything that they have to say without worrying that they'll get in trouble with Mark or anything.  I think everyone needs a way to get out whatever they have bottled up, so even if they're not ready to talk about it there's something else they can do so that they don't keep it locked up inside of them until they explode.  Once you can really find a way to get what you want off your chest you'll feel so much better.

Allie

In True Notebooks, of course all of the inmates are being falsely judged by the outside world, but they are also judged by each other.  Benny is called a "buster" by the other inmates and when they decide to write about it all of the other boys simply just pick on Benny in their essays.  Benny's called a "buster" because he's weak and an easy target.  All of the boys pick on him and he doesn't fight back, therefore he's considered a "buster" but when Benny talks to Mark, it shows that he's no buster at all.  He doesn't want to fight back because he knows the consequences for fighting aren't worth it.  He keeps to himself and ignores them because he is trying to do better.  Just because he's not a fighter, doesn't mean that he's a buster or even afraid, it just shows that he's a bigger person and is trying to learn from his past mistakes that got him to where he is now.  All of the boys have misjudged his quietness for fear when in fact, he's not really all that scared.

On a daily basis, we are all making false judgements about other people as well as being falsely judged.  I think what we all have to remember is that we shouldn't judge if we don't want to be judged.  Before I moved to Milwaukee, I went to a small catholic middle school in Madison and it was full of pretty much all of the same people.  Everyone was rich and preppy and everyone knew everyone so it was like a comfortable family and we were all so alike there was nothing really to judge.  When I moved to Milwaukee freshman year and started going to an arts school I realized that all schools weren't like how my middle school was.  There was so much diversity and so many different kinds of people, and because I wasn't used to that I judged everyone who wasn't like me and made assumptions about them.  There was a girl who was really quiet and wore black all the time, I thought she was scary and weird and just because of how she looked I was kind of afraid to talk to her.  Once I actually did start talking to her I realized that she wasn't scary at all and her wardrobe consisted of way more than just black clothing.  Now, she's been my best friend for almost five years.  If I hadn't let go of my judgements and just continued to not speak to her because of how she looked, I would've missed out on a really great friendship.  I think judgement is a form of ignorance; we're afraid of what we don't know so we make assumptions and stick to them and refuse to let the truth in.  I think going to an arts college is a really helpful thing for people who haven't been around much diversity.  The world is such a diverse place but we'll never realize it if we don't step outside of our boundaries and learn new things.  I am thankful that I got a chance to go to an arts high school and that all my ignorances were broken down and I am even more thankful that I can continue going to an arts school for college so that my knowledge of others can only continue to grow.